The Seven Most Annoying People You’ll Meet at University

There are seven deadly sins, and it just so happens that you’ll come across them all in some form at university – usually in the shape of annoying kids at halls. It’s inevitable – they say you can’t get on with everyone, and it’s true – you are going to meet people at university that you really can’t stand. Even if deep down they’re alright, they’re going to have some pretty annoying habits that will grind on your gears, no doubt. We have a foolproof guide of how to spot them.

Pride – The Beauty Queen or King

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You’ll queue for hours outside your bathroom while they ‘put their face on.’ They go to lectures looking annoyingly beautiful, even after they’ve gone on a bender. They have ten different types of moisturiser and all of them seem to be scattered across the bathroom sink. The worst part is that they’re super nice and you have no real reason to hate them (though you will anyway.)

Lust – Mr or Mrs One-Night-Stand

One night only, that’s all they have to spare. They’re not interested in going in for the long haul – they’d rather keep it casual. They’re always the one who tells you to ‘lighten up’ and reminds you that your long distance relationship probably won’t last. They’ve got a long list of lovers, and they’re adding to it every week. They’re top of the flat’s hoe chart. You can guarantee 99% of the time, there will be a new guy or gal over each weekend. Every single one of them have seen you in your pjs, and it’s usually you that informs them that they’ll never see their lover again (despite them promising to call.)

Gluttony – The One Who Lives in the Fridge

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They seem nice when it comes down to it, but they can throw a wicked tantrum when their belly is rumbling. Luckily, their room is right by the kitchen, in optimum position for cheeky midnight snacks. They blame rats for the gnaw marks in your cheese, but everyone knows it was them. They buy a sharer’s bag of crisps and don’t offer you any. If they were a Friends character, they’d be Joey, and we all know damn well that he doesn’t share food. Of course, it’s acceptable for them to steal your food, but God forbid you steal a chip from their mountain of fries. But hey, at least they’ll always go for McDonalds with you after a night out for a fix of chicken nuggets.

Anger – Red Ross

It doesn’t take much to wind this person up. You’ve feared being around them ever since that time you spilled beer in their flat and they bit your head off. Debates are always a risky business, but they love to have them, and you’re scared to say no. The phrase ‘speak of the Devil’ is especially apt in their case, since you’re certain that Satan himself doesn’t have strops as bad as them. They asked you to be their flatmate in second year and you didn’t dare say no in fear of them hunting down your family. Now you’re stuck with them. Good luck to you!

Greed – The Rich Kid Cut of by Daddy

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They didn’t get into Durham, but they can’t quite understand why despite getting three D’s at A-Level. They tried to get Daddy to buy their way in, but he’s cut them off now that for their ‘irresponsible behaviour.’ Now they drink too much Cactus Jacks and complain and try out laughing gas for something to do. Still, nothing they ever do at uni quite lives up to their infamous gap ‘yar’, the details of which will bore you to death for an entire year. Thank god your tenancy only lasts until June.

Sloth – The Night Owl

Sleep all day and party night, right? The night owl never makes it into their 9am lectures, but still manages to scrape a two-one. They’re the ones who are still drinking coffee after 4pm and don’t know the meaning of decaff – caffeine fuels their rare daytime appearances. By midnight they’ll be downing cheap Jaggerbombs, so there’s no way they’re getting any sleep. This means, by default, they’re going to wake you up when they come home hammered at 6am. But the second the sun makes an appearance, they’re out like a light. You can’t remember the last conversation you had during daylight, but at least they’re pretty chill in the evening hours.

Envy – You, probably

Everyone has their Bitter Betty moments, but there’s always one who is particularly sour. Let’s be fair, it’s probably you. You’re constantly comparing your grades, your love life and your fashion sense. It’s time to chill – you don’t want want to be that guy.

by Hayley Anderton

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